A man appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.

"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered.

"On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota , I came upon a
gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to
leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the
largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him in his face,
kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground."

I yelled, "Now, back off!! Or I'll kick the ____ out of all of you!"

St. Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?"

"Just a couple minutes ago."  

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